Keeping in Teutsch

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This summer will mark two years that we have been in Lafayette. And it will mark two years that we have gone without a real church home. Two years without a Sunday School class. And, for me, two years without one real friendship in this town (because I work practically by myself and would only have the opportunity to meet new friends at church).

You might be thinking: Why haven't you been going to church. Oh, but we have been! Then, what's the problem? The problem is with the churches we've been attending. The problem is that we can't find a church that we really just love. The problem is that I don't think I should have to "settle" for a church and pray to be content there like I have been for the past year and a half. The problem is that I'm homesick for my old church and my old church friends...

I was driving home from a weekend visit with my parents (Juliette was with me) late yesterday afternoon and about three blocks from home, I heard two men on the radio (I had been scanning through the stations) talking about how hard it is to find a new church when you move. One of the guys said that they found that it's even more difficult to find a new church when you've come from a church that you loved. You immediately compare every church you attend to that one and the fact of the matter is that you aren't going to be able to find a duplicate of that church. My head knows that, but my heart just wants what we used to have.

In 2004, we started attending First Baptist Church in West Monroe, LA. I had heard great things about the pastor at that time, and I knew they had a contemporary worship service, so I really wanted to try it out. (Although Matt is more of a grandpa in his worship preferences and prefers the classic hymns.) After a few months, we decided to try out a Life Group that one of Matt's co-workers taught, and I immediately felt at home. Everyone was friendly, everyone was in the same life stage as us (young married with no children) and in no time at all, we felt like we had known them forever. I became friends with a lot of the girls and before long, we all started having babies and in what felt like a blink of an eye, almost 5 years had passed and without trying we had a "history" with them. Our kids were at the same daycare, or we were in the same Bunco group, or our kids went to Kindermusik together...it was wonderful. It was wonderful for a girl who came to college without any of her friends, who made new friends in college, and then whose new friends moved away. First West (although it had/has it's fault) was exactly what I needed, when I needed it...spiritually and emotionally.

Having been raised in North Louisiana, though, I naively thought that any large Baptist church (as First West was) would still provide the same worship experience...would still give me what I needed spiritually. And, I'm sure that is the case in most other Southern cities...I'm positive that is the case, but drive south of Alexandria and it's not true. At least, not for us.

South Louisiana is predominantly Catholic. In Lafayette, there are really only two large Baptist churches. TWO. 1-2. That is it. When we first moved here, we knew what the denominational make-up of South Louisiana was and knew that Baptist churches were probably going to be few and far between. I never thought, though, that I would be left wanting more options.

When we first moved to town, we visited First Baptist Lafayette's contemporary service. We didn't go back. The music made me feel like I was watching a concert, the songs weren't any praise songs I had heard at First West or on Christian radio (and in fact, they didn't even really resemble praise songs, making them hard to sing along with) and there were flashing colored lights (weird!). The sanctuary was dark most of the time. (I just have to interject here and say, What is up with turning the lights down? It just makes me feel depressed!) The preacher was okay, but his sermon was more of a verse-by-verse dissection of a book of the Bible that apparently he'd been preaching on for a while. It reminded me more of a Bible study or maybe a Sunday night service. There were no life applications to it and I just felt completely sad and disappointed about the entire service, because I had come expecting big things.

So, church 1 of 2 was a no-go, and so, we went across town to East Bayou Baptist Church. The music was better there, but still not what we were used to. The preacher was somewhat better...more energetic...but what we LOVED was the preschool area. They have a small stage area (it's not an actual stage) and it is always decorated in a theme for whatever the lesson is that day. There is a preschool worship leader and they lead them in singing and then act out the Bible story (complete with costumes) and Juliette just loves it. When we first picked her up, she told us what she learned that day and started singing the songs in the car on the way home. She'd never done that at First West, so we were happy that she had gotten so much out of it and that East Bayou is so dedicated to giving the itty, bitty kids just as much of a worship experience as the adults. The thing about East Bayou, though, is that they don't have Sunday School. The church is only about 20-30 years old and was gradually built and added on to (like most growing churches). However, because East Bayou focuses so much on the worship services (they have something like 7-10 of them going on simultaneously on Sunday mornings: preschool, kids--divided in age groups--teens, a service in the cafe, family room, the main worship area, etc.), there isn't room for Sunday School classes (because they need the room for all those worship services). To remedy the solution, they have small groups in homes that meet at various times throughout the week, so we decided to give the small groups a try. The first small group they put us in met after church on Sundays. I had requested a small group of couples that had kids. This was a mixed small group and no one had kids. That kinda annoyed me that the small group leader didn't pay enough attention to my request. Everyone was really nice in the group, but it wasn't a good fit because of the kid thing, so I went back and asked for another group to try, this time making sure the small group leader understood what I was requesting. That time we landed in a group that just made us feel completely out-of-their-league. Everyone was friendly and they never acted like they were better than us, but each week, the houses that we went to (they met at different ones each week) got bigger, and bigger, (and in areas where I knew the home costs were at least 300k or more). Pretty much everyone was stay-at-home-moms and they were pregnant or had babies on their hips and they seemed to only talk about babies. For someone, like me, who has had to put the baby thing on hold and is a working mom, I just felt out of place. And, it is HARD, extremely hard, to live in a 2-bedroom, student-housing apartment and sit in those gorgeous, new homes and not compare and just feel really crappy about your circumstances. So, we attended East Bayou for about a 1 1/2 years for Juliette's sake...because she was learning and loving it, but didn't attend a small group. I just gave up on finding a small group and didn't ask for another one to try. At some points, the preacher's sermons would be extremely simplistic...the kind of sermon you would preach to a new believer or someone new to church that left us wanting something deeper. I joined a women's Bible Study that meets twice a month, and I really liked it, but I'm the only one with a child. It's a mix of singles and marrieds and I really like the group of girls, but any kind of friendship we have doesn't go beyond Facebook. Everyone there seems to have friendships that extend beyond Bible Study, so although I like the girls involved, I often just leave there feeling more homesick for the friends I have back home.

Matt and I had grown weary of not having something in the form of Sunday School and the fellowship that goes along with it, though, and decided to give First Baptist another try. Quite possibly, we thought, we had just visited them on an off-day. In January, we went back to First Baptist and went to just worship. The music was more praise songs, the preaching was better--with life applications--and it seemed we really had visited at an off-time the first time around. So, we decided to visit Sunday School. The Young Adults meet as a whole for announcements and prayer first and then break off into classes based on your children's ages. We were put in the 4-10 yr. old class, but told we could go anywhere we wanted if that one didn't seem to fit us. The first Sunday was what you would expect--friendliness from the leaders, smiles from some of the other members, but no chit-chat. We realized when we walked in that we actually knew the young adult leader and his wife, Ron and Michelle--their daughter goes to preschool with Juliette. So, it was incredibly nice to have a somewhat familiar face there. (We've only ever seen them a few times, but it helped to have that connection.) We felt more positive leaving there that Sunday about our future church home. It also helped for us to find out that they took the preschoolers to a worship time as well. The next Sunday, we decided to go back to Sunday School. We walked in a little late and announcements had already started. When we got to our class, no one said anything to us. The leader might have said "Hi," but the rest of the room acted as if we were invisible. When class was over, while others were chit-chatting, we were ignored. I just couldn't help but think that it would have never been that way at First West. Most of our old Sunday School class would have went out of their way to make sure we felt welcomed, regardless of whether they were in a leadership position or not.

So, here we stand, unhappy with certain things at both churches. I've had people suggest to me that we try a non-denominational church, but it's hard sometimes to really decipher how their beliefs align with ours. I wish there was a happy little ending that involved peace and contentment in a new church that we were completely happy with (and some new friendships too), but right now, there isn't. And, you might even think, as I have thought myself, that maybe the problem isn't the churches, maybe the problem is me or my heart? But, then, I visit my parents in North Louisiana and go to church with them, and their service is more along the lines of what we had at First West and I think, it can't be me then, because I don't feel "dead" when I'm there. So, I'm not really sure how to wrap up this post other than to just ask for prayers as we try to find a church home and prayers that I'll be able to make some good Godly friends.

Sorry to be such a party pooper with this post...I promise to be more upbeat tomorrow! :)

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Still playing catch-up from the holidays! On December 21st, I celebrated (reluctantly and without much fuss) my 30th birthday. And now, I officially feel old.

In (late) celebration of that momentous occasion (there seems to be a theme here), I decided to do a list of random tidbits about myself. Originally, I was going to do 30 of them, but I ran out of stuff to put on there, so I stopped at 20. (Twenty is the new 30 anyway! At least I'm going to tell myself that!)

So, without further ado, here are 20 random things about me:

1. I almost always wear my hair in a ponytail on weekends…except to go to church. Mostly. And, about every other day during the week. Fine…I'll admit it. I'm addicted to wearing my hair in a ponytail. I consider myself successful at fighting this bad habit when I wear it down at least three days in a work week. (It doesn't take much to make me feel successful!

2. I will forever be 15 minutes late to work. It's been this way since the dawn of my professional employment days in an office and until I work for a boss that cares, I imagine it will stay that way. (Ironically, I give myself a figurative pat on the back if I get to work less than 15 minutes late. I don’t know what I do when I get to work on time, as that has never happened before.)

3. I don't take lunch breaks and just eat lunch from home at my desk. It's not that I'm so busy…it's just that I'm lazy and I don’t want to walk home for lunch. Plus, because of my lack of timeliness, I have to make sure I get in my 40 hours. I'm the moral police when it comes to the time clock. I kid not!

4. I mostly eat yogurt and a granola bar (sometimes with a piece of fruit) for lunch. Riveting information about me, huh? My favorite flavors: Banana Cream Pie, Strawberry Shortcake and Red Velvet (all Yoplait Lights).

5. Since Fiber One came out with poptarts, I've been eating a Strawberry poptart for breakfast every morning. Seriously. Every. Single. Morning.

6. Speaking of food (and then I promise, I'll move on because I sure hope there is more to me than just food!), I could eat Mexican pretty much every day.

7. When I was unemployed back in 2009, I interviewed for a job as a law partner's personal assistant in a big firm here in town. Some of the job duties were to wind his clock every morning in his office and to change out the batteries in his beeper every day. I'm pretty sure I didn't get the job because I questioned what kind of batteries he was using that wouldn't last more than a day! True story!

8. I also interviewed for a research job at the university, assisting the person who tracks down alumni and asks for donations or asks for them to write the university into their wills. The woman who interviewed me gave some scenarios and asked how I would go about finding people. I'm pretty sure I didn't get that job because my answer was "Google" for all of them and I had a look of "are you kidding me?" on my face when she asked me, for instance, how I would find the owner of a Chinese restaurant chain. My thought process was, "Is this a trick question? Because Google is still my answer." Maybe I'm just really good at using Google and have thought all this time that everyone else knew how to use it to find people. Am I the only one that cyber stalks people? (Don't answer that!)

9. I have a major problem with "pulling the trigger" and booking hotel rooms. I know…that is such a random thing, but when I was planning our little trip late last summer to Houston, I spent WAY too much time obsessing over how many stars and good reviews a hotel got that I started stressing myself out about where we were going to stay. Thankfully, I didn't land us in roach motel crawling with bed bugs in a bad part of town, which is totally my fear!

10. I have the inability to go on a vacation with my husband without all hell breaking loose about directions—and subsequently, getting lost. Thankfully, I like to think that this is only partially my fault and now that my husband has a smart phone with GPS, we can look forward to our 4 year old NOT refereeing from the backseat on the next trip! (Yes, we sometimes fight or yell at each other in front of her…I'm just keeping it real, people. Let's not pretend we're perfect!)

11. I'm super indecisive. I will probably never, ever build a home, because of the magnitude of decisions that will have to be made. Don't ask me to choose the restaurant either!

12. I dislike trying a new restaurant unless I'm with someone who has been there before or unless I have read all the reviews about it. I know, I'm weird. (Maybe I should have titled this "Quirky things about Melissa.")

13. I'm currently doing Weight Watchers (in my 6^th week!). I've never kept something up for this long nor has the question "Do you want to go out to eat?" ever made me sprint to the computer to look up points for restaurants and then semi-hyperventilate when I can't find them!

14. I dislike playing pretend with Juliette. (Let's not act like we all like to play pretend with our kids!) I still play it with her if she asks, although I do try to persuade her to choose something else to play. I find, though, that I'm seriously lacking in the pretend-play area of my brain. Am I the only one that finds it difficult to create dialogue for a bunch of Barbies?

15. I'm not romantic AT ALL. In fact, I think most romantic gestures are cheesy and have hidden agendas. Matt knows that more often than not if he does something romantic or says something romantic, I'm going to ask, "What do you want?" Now, I should probably save my husband from a hanging about now and say that he doesn't usually have hidden agendas…it's just where my mind goes. My love language is service! Show me you love me by washing the dishes and doing the laundry. And, if you clean the bathroom, I will be on cloud nine and won't care if you have a hidden agenda and want something in return!!

16. Along the same lines as above, I also dislike receiving flowers from Matt. My main reason? They die…and they can be costly. Since the money comes from our checkbook, I prefer it not be spent on something that is going to die within the week. I will make exceptions for tulips, though, since they are my favorite and you can't find them all the time.

17. I prefer to make lists about what needs to be done, then to actually do what needs to be done. Nevermind the fact that in the time it took for me to make the list (and color code it with markers!), I could have already done a few things on it!

18. I rarely go to the grocery store without my dinner menu planned for the next week and a list of what I need. And, like clockwork, I go grocery shopping every Friday afternoon (unless we are going out of town for the weekend and then I go when we get back on Sunday).

19. I started out majoring in pre-pharmacy and Chemistry 101 kicked by butt (I barely got out of there with a C), so I hightailed it to the liberal arts before that first semester in college was even over. The truth is, I never really wanted to be a pharmacist, I just initially chose that field because of the fact that I would be a doctor (PharmD) when I graduated and would be making awesome money. I clearly was not thinking about my strengths and weaknesses (science being my weakness).

20. My dream job is to be a stay-at-home mom! I don't know if that will ever happen, but I pray about it often.

And now feel free to psychoanalysis me in the comments! :)

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Today we attended a "Bread Celebration" at Juliette's preschool. What is a Bread Celebration, you might be wondering? Well, it's really just something the preschool teachers made up as a way to do something for Thanksgiving, but that wasn't specific to America (since there are some kids from Juliette's class that have other cultural backgrounds and traditions). One of the things, though, that is common across the world, though, is the eating of bread as part of their celebrations/holidays, so that is why they chose to have a Bread Celebration. The teachers asked each family to bring a bread that is a favorite for them or a part of their holiday celebrations. We chose to bring Juliette's favorite bread item, muffins--specifically blueberry muffins and chocolate chip muffins.

The Bread Celebration took place in the teachers' lounge in the building that Juliette's preschool is in. (The building serves as UL's Family Sciences building, as well as Fashion & Merchandising, among other majors, but it used to be an elementary school before it was acquired by UL and zoned into the campus, so that is why it has a teachers' lounge.) When we arrived, Juliette met us at the door and escorted us to our table.

On the table was a little bag with her turkey hand print on it and a poem about it. (There were some things in the bag as well...a free loaf of bread from one of the bakeries, a card, some seeds to plant something.)

Also on the table was all the kids' answers to "Thanksgiving is..."

Once all the parents arrived, they passed out little jars that we had to shake to make our own butter. (Apparently, if you put heavy cream in a jar and shake it up, it makes butter...never knew that until today!)

Here is Juliette shaking her butter jar.

And then Juliette served us our choice of various breads. There were muffins, croissants, Irish soda bread, cinnamon rolls, gingerbread, french bread, tortillas, raisin bread, etc. I was so afraid Juliette was going to dump that tray when she was bringing it to us--from across the room--but she was a little pro.

This is what our butter ended up looking like!

Our little family!

We'll be spending Thanksgiving at my parents this year (we trade off years). All my family will be there, so it will be a full house, but I'm looking forward to it. I hope everyone else has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

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