It has pretty much always been my belief that as a mother your number one ministry should be and is your children, and my friend Jaime echoed my thoughts when she blogged recently about this. (Coincidentally, I had been thinking of blogging about this topic myself, so thanks Jaime for giving me the nudge to do it and letting me share some of your thoughts here!) Jaime wrote the following and it is spot on with how I feel:
I want to take this role so seriously but I feel so humbled and clueless[…]. I know to pray with him and read the Word to him. We talk about Jesus and Cash will gladly point to his heart if you ask him where Jesus is...but I'm not sure if I've ever felt more clueless…about the "rules" for effectively teaching him what it means to Love and serve Jesus with his whole heart. I think the feelings of inadequacy come from how seriously I take this role in my life...
I feel that if I get nothing else right in raising Juliette (and future children), it's okay as long as they learn the extreme importance of having an authentic relationship with God and actually have it. Since before Juliette was even conceived, I have prayed (as I am now praying for child #2, who hasn't been conceived, in addition to Juliette) that they will one day be saved, that God will give them a passion for Him that will guide them through the tumultuous teen years (because I dread those years) and beyond, that they will have wisdom beyond their years, that He will prepare Godly spouses for them, and that they will have the desire to grow close to Him, among many other things. And another thing: That He will give Matt and me the wisdom and the words when they ask the tough questions and that we will be godly role models. To be in charge of teaching my child about Christ and having the responsibility of their salvation in my hands can be frightening, because I don't feel like I'm good at this AT ALL, but at the same time, it's exciting and brings me to God in prayer so much more!
Before becoming a mother, I had heard people say that having children gave them a clearer understanding of God’s love for us and what it means to have child-like faith. I LOVE having a front-row seat to Juliette’s child-like faith. It is awe-inspiring…and so very humbling too! For example, when the tornado in Joplin, Missouri, happened, Matt had told Juliette that day during lunch that they needed to pray for the people who were hurt. (He obviously didn’t go into the details with her.) For a few weeks, she diligently prayed every night for them, but what was incredibly humbling to me was when we went to my parents the following weekend and in the middle of the morning, while Mom and I were talking about the tornado, Juliette asked us if we wanted to pray for the people who were hurt. Of course, we didn’t refuse, and although Juliette decided she wanted me to pray instead of her, the intent behind it brought tears to my eyes. How often do we as adults stop and pray with others when it’s not a mealtime or a church service? Maybe some of you do that all the time, but sadly, that’s not the norm for me and I felt convicted. Sometimes in the middle of teaching your children, they teach you!
I have to say, though, until recently I'd never heard parents really discuss this in terms of how inadequate they feel or clueless (like Jaime said). I don't think it's bad to feel this way, and I imagine, like Jaime said above, that those that feel that way have those feelings because of how serious they are taking this job, which is a good thing!
Since I am a type-A personality, though, I think it does make me feel like I'm winging it sometimes since there is no actual check-list for teaching your child about Christ. But, since Jaime and I clearly are echoing each other thoughts on this, I think it’s important to say to other parents who feel the same way, "You are not alone in your thoughts and feelings on this and it doesn't make you a 'bad' Christian to feel inadequate about your ability to teach your children about Christ. We should be taking this responsibility seriously, so let's encourage each other and pray for each other."
When I sit back and think about how I was raised (and I think my parents did a good job with this), I think that it takes multiple things: having your children in church consistently (and make being in church a top priority and not a "option"), praying for and with your children (and making prayer part of your family's daily life), reading them the Bible and talking about what you've read, using teachable moments in the course of everyday life to teach/talk about God, His commands, etc., and practicing what you are preaching to your kids. I think as humans sometimes we try to make Christianity more complicated than it really is and I'm sure there are some things that I'm not thinking of that my parents did, but my point is to say, we don't need to try to complicate it into a long check-list, no matter how easy and nice that would be for us Type-A personalities! Sometimes the most effective ways are the simplest ways!
So, I didn’t write this post with the intention of saying “this is how you do it,” because believe me, I’m just taking it one day at a time relying on God to walk me through it. I just want to challenge others (myself included) to make teaching our children about God one of our top priorities (and not just that there is one [head-knowledge], but going deeper than that [heart-knowledge]). That doesn't mean you can't go on mission trips or serve in a ministry capacity to other people. It just means that we don't need to rely on the church to teach our children. And that we don't need to neglect the mission field we have between our own four walls!
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. --Proverbs 22:6