Keeping in Teutsch

If you've been reading my blog regularly (or as regularly as I post, which is not very regularly), then you know that we've been trying to get pregnant since last summer. I had a horrible doctor's visit in October, swore off doctors for a few months, made an appointment for a visit in January to a new doctor (a female one this time), and then at the last minute felt led by God to cancel it and wait a little longer. I made a new one for March 12th and felt very at peace about it.

In February, Juliette, on her own accord, started praying consistently every night (and oftentimes at meal times too) for "God to put a baby in mommy's tummy." We had not talked about having problems getting pregnant in front of her...she just decided she was ready for a little sister or brother and she needed to pray about it.

On March 5th, after suspecting that I might be pregnant (because I had been feeling some implantation aches and just felt a little "off"), I took a pregnancy test that morning...one of the ones with words.


However, March 5th was also the day that Matt had to take his last comprehensive exam, so I didn't want to tell him that morning in case it distracted him from his test. I went to work and kept my little secret all day long...longest work day ever! As soon as Matt walked in the door from his test (around 5:15), I pulled him into the bathroom to show him the pregnancy test that I had saved from that morning. He got all excited and wanted to tell Juliette right away, but I wanted to wait until I was further along. He overruled me and said it would be too hard to live in the same house with her and not talk about it, so Matt told her. At first she didn't believe him (because he is always joking with her), but once I told her it was true, she started jumping up and down, and asking a bazillion questions. (Seriously, even after I put her to bed that night, she got up and came and asked me more questions--one being, "How do you know it's coming out in November?") Juliette at one point did say, "My wish came true!" to which I replied, "Prayers aren't wishes. God answered your prayer." She said, "That was fast!" And I said, "It sure was," thinking to myself, if only all prayers were answered that fast! Obviously, my same prayer took longer than a month to answer! It was so great, though, to see God answer her prayer in such a tangible way.

My mom had also been praying for my body to "act normally," and I can not tell you how excited I was to see my cycles becoming more regular and to be able to conceive this baby naturally without medication. I have never been "normal" in that area, and it thrilled me!

God has shown me time and time again (through getting pregnant with Juliette; finding my job at UL; etc.) that his timing is the perfect timing, and once again, he showed up! And, it is 100 percent his doing, because, like I said, I wasn't taking any medications to control my cycle or control my ovulation date (which would have possibly put me in control of my due date). Our due date is November 13th. Since I'll be having a repeat c-section, the baby will be born the week before. I will have 6 weeks of sick leave accrued by then. When you add the 6 weeks, plus the 2 days we have for Thanksgiving holidays, it takes me right up to the 2 weeks the university is closed for Christmas, allowing me 8 weeks at home. Talk about perfect planning! I could only dream of it working out like that!

Since I had the March 12th appointment already with the new doctor, when I called, they told me to keep it, so I went in and had some blood work done (to confirm the pregnancy and check my progesterone levels). My progesterone was low, which wasn't a problem I had with Juliette (but I had been taking progesterone on and off for over a year when I got pregnant with her so that's probably why), so they prescribed me Prometrium (progesterone) and told me that it was a possibility I might miscarry if my progesterone levels didn't increase. I was told to come back in 5 days for more blood work. (This was all God too because normally the doctor would not have seen me until 8 weeks, which might have been too late.) Those 5 days drug by (literally and physically, the Prometrium makes you even more tired than normal first trimester tiredness) and I was incredibly nervous. I prayed a lot, and Dr. Google helped calm my fears when I realized that low progesterone in the first trimester is quite common for a lot of women. The blood work came back great, and since then, I've had an ultrasound and the baby looks good and has a strong heartbeat.

Picture is upside down so that you can see the baby right side up!

I'm giving God the glory and thanking Him for all the answered prayers and this incredible miracle of life! I can't wait to share this pregnancy with you through my blog...we are so excited and feel incredibly blessed!

"I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him." - 1 Samuel 1:27

Have you ever gotten in an argument with your doctor and just up and walked out of the exam room? Me either...until yesterday. I've been swinging between being completely embarrassed and appalled at how I reacted (and about clearly not having my emotions under control) and ticked off at the doctor and his extreme lack of professionalism during my office visit. I thought about not sharing this on my blog, but I feel strongly that if someone is doctor shopping and Googles "Dr. Cardinale with Acadiana Women's Group in Lafayette, LA," they need to see this.

It's no secret that we are starting to try for baby #2. (Sorry for the the nitty gritty details of why I was at the doctor, but it's kinda difficult to tell this story without sharing them.) I had my last period on the Pill in early July and saw Dr. Cardinale in mid-July for my yearly check-up. At that time, I told him (like I had the year before when I first saw him) about my medical history and the problems we had getting pregnant with Juliette (and the medicine I took to get pregnant). I told him that based on my past more than likely I wouldn't get my period on my own and asked when I should come back and get the medicine I needed. He told me to give it a couple of months and then come back then. He seemed very laid back about it and never acted like prescribing me the medication would be a problem.

In early August, I got my period on my own, but I haven't had one since then. I decided, since it had been two months, to go ahead and go back to the doctor now since I'm going to be super busy with work over the next few weeks and probably wouldn't be able to get away for a doctor's appointment again until mid-November.

My appointment was for 10:45 am yesterday, and I had to sit in the waiting room until Noon before they called my name. (For the last 15-20 minutes, I was in there by myself...making me wonder if they completely forgot me since I knew they would be closing shortly.) Thankfully, once I got into a room, I didn't have to wait very long at all for the doctor to come in.

I'm not the type to get offended or upset if a doctor doesn't remember me (or remember that he told me to come back) because I know they see a lot of people every day and that it's standard to ask why you are there or what the problem is. It annoyed me a little bit that I had to go back through my entire medical history again (for the third time) when I knew it was there in my chart from the last two times I was there, but I still kept my cool.

I told him that I knew what I needed--a combination of clomid and metformin--but that he was the doctor.... (I just trailed off like that because I didn't want him to think I was trying to tell him what to do.) At first, things were fine, but then after going through my history and typing all the information into the laptop he uses (and me reiterating that clomid by itself didn't work and the only thing that worked last time was taking clomid and metformin together), he looks at me and in a very rude tone says, "I'll give you clomid, but I'm not giving you metformin."

I'd been sitting there for over an hour waiting on my appointment, I had to go back through my entire history (that had already been documented by him twice before), and I had just conveyed to him the horrible experience I had when one doctor prescribed me Clomid for a year straight and it did nothing but leave cysts on my ovaries and one ovary swollen way larger than the other one, so his rude tone and talk of just prescribing clomid set me off. (If you get rude with me, I'm probably going to get rude right back...it's hard for me not to.) So, I asked (in a rude tone), "Why won't you give me the metformin?" I can't remember exactly what he said, but it was basically that he didn't see a reason to and that he didn't know if I had PCOS (in a rude tone; he pretty much never stopped the rude tone after that point). I said, basically, that I had just told him all my history and that I had it, and then he said he needed to see my medical records. I said, "Are you kidding me?" (because shouldn't that have been something he told me almost three months ago when we discussed this...also I was kinda ticked at myself for not thinking forward and just going ahead and getting them myself). The thing is, my prior doctor diagnosed the PCOS and prescribed the metformin in my very first visit, so I'm sitting there both baffled at his reluctance to prescribe it (it's not like I was doctor-shopping for pain pills or something addictive like that) and almost shocked at how incredibly rude he was being. I said, "Fine...we can get the medical records, but I'm telling you already everything that is in them." I asked him how my prior doctor was able to prescribe me metformin so easily and he said, "I'm not going to do something illegal." WHAT? Since when did prescribing metformin and clomid (the standard medications used for those with PCOS to achieve pregnancy) become illegal? I said, "I'm not asking you to do anything illegal...I'm just asking you how my old doctor was able to do that without it being a big deal!"

The order that the remainder of the conversation took place fails me, because I was getting so upset with him and at the same time, I was completely shocked at what was transpiring, but at one point, I know he said something along the lines of "You can't just come in here and tell me what to do. I'm the doctor." I in turn, replied by telling him, (in a much calmer, nicer voice) that I know he is the doctor and that I haven't told him what to do...I was just sharing my history and what worked in the past. At no time did I ever say "you need to do this or give me this"...again, I just said "this worked last time...this didn't work last time." It was quite obvious that he did not appreciate me having an opinion--or a history of successful medicating from a previous doctor--nor did he seem to appreciate me questioning his decision to only prescribe clomid, which I did say I refused to take my itself because of what happened in the past. At one point he said, "You just need to go see a reproductive endocrinologist" and I said, "My insurance doesn't cover infertility." Not until we were both angry at each other did he even say that he would consider prescribing metformin after doing an ultrasound and an infertility work-up. He also at this point pretty much said that he didn't "trust me about my history." When he said that, I told him that if he didn't trust me to tell him the truth that he wouldn't be my doctor. (And I pretty much decided at that point that this doctor-patient relationship was over!) He seemed to chill out for about a minute after that (although I can see how angry that would have made him) to say, "You need an ultrasound and a infertility work-up." I asked, "Will that be covered by my insurance?" (because I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to get stuck with a huge bill, although at this point I didn't see him following through with doing them and I was ready to leave and never come back because it was clear he didn't see this as a doctor-patient relationship in which a real conversation could take place and a patient could have a say-so in their treatment). That's when he said, and I quote, "I DON'T KNOW, AND FRANKLY I DON'T CARE." I got up, grabbed my purse, and as I was opening the door, the only thing I could think to say was, "There is a little thing called social media, and I'm about to blast you on it." (Yeah, I'm SO cool with my comebacks...the absolute dorkiest comeback, I know...I'm embarrassed to attribute it to myself, but it's important that I tell the full story, even the embarrassing parts.)

I walked out of the doctor's office not even stopping to pay my co-pay. (No one was at the window...not sure if I would have stopped, though, if they were. They know where to find me.) I got to my car, and I was shaking and SO mad. I went straight to Target because I had planned to go grocery shopping after the appointment and sat in my car in the parking lot, trying to keep it together (I was NOT going to cry over this jerk) and calm myself down. After about 10 minutes, I was calmer, so I went and did my grocery shopping and came home and told Matt about it. (He mostly sided with me.) On the way home from Target, I did stop by the health food store and get a natural herb that I had been thinking about trying (and that I had already researched extensively). A lot of women with PCOS take it and it has regulated their cycles and enabled them to get pregnant. I usually go more with traditional medicine, but I'm a little turned off by doctors at the moment! (I did eventually calm down enough yesterday to research doctors and have decided to take this herb until after the end of the year for now, and if I need to see the doctor, I'll go in January. The new one I found is a woman, a few years older than me, and I've read some great reviews about her in terms of her relationship with her patients.)

My first thought, before even making it to the car yesterday, was that God was literally slamming shut the door on us in regards to having another child. Is He trying to tell me this isn't the time? Or is He trying to tell me that I need to bite my tongue and keep my emotions in check ? (Don't answer that one!) There might be some of you reading this that think we are absolutely crazy for attempting to bring another child into the world while Matt is in grad school and we are living in a 2-bedroom apartment, but here's the deal: it's now or never. Once Matt graduates and we get settled somewhere (and I find a job and get settled in that job), I will be heading close to 35, and it will have been almost 10 years since Juliette was born, so that's why we want to try and have another one before Matt graduates. (I know I don't owe anyone this explanation, but I thought I'd share why we have come to this decision.)

Although I had a little pity party in the Target parking lot and for that brief time thought we were never going to have another child, now that I'm NOT thinking with my emotions, I really don't think God is trying to close the door on having another child. If he is, it's not going to happen regardless of what we do...and if Juliette is our only child, we'll be okay. I'LL be okay. I'm beyond thankful that we have her.

So, I really want to hear your thoughts on this. Did I overreact? Was I out of line by questioning him? Do you think he was out of line? How would you have reacted?

Part 1 of this post can be read by clicking here. Also, because of the details that go along with telling our infertility story, some of you guy readers might feel like I'm sharing too much information, so proceed with caution!

Part of me always knew, in the back of my mind, that one day I would have trouble getting pregnant. Since pretty much day one of my "passage into womanhood," I had problems ranging from periods that wouldn't stop without medical intervention or simply no periods at all. And at the young age of 13--after at least a year or more of 3-month intervals on and off the Pill--my doctor put me on the Pill permanently. He offered to refer me to someone else so we could identify what was actually wrong (instead of just using the Pill as a Band-Aid for the problem), but I was in junior high and I didn't want to be poked and prodded and undergo tests that were more appropriate for older, maturer women. I just wanted to be a normal teenager, so my Mom and I declined any further evaluations or tests and I spent the next decade growing up, graduating from high school, falling in love, getting married, graduating college, and working on my career--all while popping a Pill nightly to keep me "normal."

Since Matt and I were so young when we got married in December 2000, we decided that we wanted to wait at least five years before we had a child. In February 2004, six months after I graduated college and six months before Matt graduated with his masters degree, we bought our first home. Up until that point in our marriage, children hadn't really been a thought since we were still in such a transition period in our lives. Buying a home meant we could finally settle down, though, and it wasn't long before I started getting serious about growing our family. Matt, however, is an only child and seemed to not have much interest in children (or didn't really know what to do with them when we were around them), so as a test of his parenting abilities, I agreed to let him adopt a puppy from the pound. Zoe was like our first child and Matt babied her so much (and still does!) that I knew we were ready...Matt had passed my test! So, in late summer of 2004, I stopped taking the Pill and was anxious to see if the same problems I had as a young teenager were still there. It didn't take long for my fears to be confirmed.

As the months went by, I tried to stay optimistic, thinking maybe the Pill just needs to get out of my system and I'll be regular then. But by Spring 2005, it was apparent that I needed to see a doctor since I wasn't having my periods. My doctor ran some blood work, which came back normal, and then over the next six months or so of that year, he regularly prescribed me hormones to make my periods start and Clomid to increase my chances of getting pregnant. I tried to not get frustrated by the fact that he seemed to not be very aggressive about finding the root of the problem and oftentimes through that first year, I questioned whether I should change doctors or even go see an infertility specialist. I found myself constantly feeling like I was wanting to "bypass God" if I took more aggressive measures or that if I prayed harder or had more faith, I wouldn't need medical intervention.

By Fall 2005, I was fed up, though, and had come around to the realization that further medical intervention didn't mean I was relying on man to fix my problem, but that these doctors were simply one of God's tools! It had been a year and we still had no clue what the problem was, so I decided to try another Ob/Gyn who I had heard good things about. Before we left the other doctor, though, we had a sperm analysis done and were told that Matt had a normal level of sperm but that the count was on the lower end of normal and he should probably avoid hot baths. Considering that Matt likes to get in the bathtub and read and had just finished getting his masters in English, which requires a lot of reading, I banned him from the bathtub until we were pregnant!

Changing doctors made me feel optimistic again. I went for my first appointment in October 2005 and the doctor--before even doing an exam or ultrasound--said he felt I had a mild form of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) based on what I had told him about my history. An ultrasound showed that one of my ovaries was huge and had cysts on them and that it was most likely because of the treatment of hormones and Clomid that the other doctor had me on. I'm a little fuzzy on the workings of insulin and its relation to PCOS, so I might not be totally correct in how I describe it, but basically, women with PCOS typically suffer from insulin-resistance, meaning their body doesn't respond to insulin like it should and therefore more insulin is made, which can cause your ovaries to develop cysts. High insulin levels lead to your ovaries producing higher levels of male hormones and thus ovulation becomes affected. In short, your hormones are all out of whack and as was my case, the hormone that told the egg to release from the ovary wasn't working, therefore I wasn't ovulating. (Clear as mud, huh?)

My new doctor's first course of action was to get my ovary back to its normal size and to get rid of the cysts. He prescribed metformin, a form of glucophage that is typically used to treat diabetes and regulate insulin in your body. I was also scheduled for a laparoscopy (exploratory surgery to look at my reproductive organs) and a hysterosalpingogram or HSG (better known as a tubal dye study) for the first week of November 2005. The laparoscopy showed that the metformin had helped to shrink my ovary back, that the cysts were gone, and that everything looked good. The HSG showed no blockage in my fallopian tubes and I was sent home with a follow-up appointment for the next week and a very positive outlook from the doctor.

At my follow-up appointment, we were given the go-ahead to try again that month, this time taking both metformin and Clomid, as well as charting my basal body temperature. I had been charting my basal body temperature (your temperature at rest, before getting out of bed in the morning, using a special thermometer) almost since we had started trying to conceive, but didn't know the facts behind why it was so important until I read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" was such an eye-opener to me, as I never knew some of the signs my body was giving me, especially when it came to cervical mucus. Yes, I went there! Too much information, I know, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and if taking two medicines, recording my basal body temperature into software that analyzed it for me and told me when I would be most fertile, checking my cervical mucus daily, and a healthy dose of prayer would lead to pregnancy, I was all for it!

In telling my story, I can't skip over the spiritual side of it. There was about a year there that I felt desperate all the time, where my prayers were made up of literally begging and pleading, and where my emotions were running so high that news of my friends' pregnancies (and there were quite a few during that time) left me running to God crying, "Why?" "Why Me? Why Can't I Have a Baby?" As I shared in the first part of this post, in the excerpt from the book, I'm a control freak and oftentimes God uses situations that he knows will get your attention to teach you some important life lessons. For me, I thought I could control my body, even though I had never actually been in control of my menstrual cycle. None of us are, but my perception of pregnancy had everything to do with controlling whether I got pregnant or not and nothing to do with allowing God to control such an important step in my life, in our marriage. I thought I was in control and I thought it would happen on MY timeline. God took this opportunity as a wonderful teaching moment in my life, and I don't regret it at all. And then I did something crazy around the time I changed doctors. I quit praying!

During the transition of doctors, I read a book (which I can't remember the name of) of one woman's story of infertility. In the book, she talked about ceasing her prayers for a while because she felt the main reason she was praying so much was because she felt she needed to "remind God." I suddenly felt convicted about my prayer life because I realized that control freak in me was coming out in my prayers and without really realizing it, I was trying to control God. My prayers were definitely becoming a "reminder" to God (as if He would ever forget!), and I was treating Him like a child does their parent when they want something really badly--I was trying to "wear Him down," hoping He'd change His mind and go with MY timing, not His. I had become a woman obsessed with trying to convince God to go along with my plans and it wasn't good. So, that fall of 2005, I said a prayer and it went something like this, "God, I know you know the desires of my heart and I know you don't have to be reminded. I've become obsessed and I'm not praying to you for the right reasons. I know that you will answer my prayers in YOUR timing, so I'm not going to ask you again." That Fall I had such a peace. That doesn't mean that I didn't pray to God at all during that time, but I specifically quit asking Him to give us a baby. If I was getting anxious, I would ask for patience, peace, whatever I needed at the time. I firmly believe that, for me, I needed to come to this place in my relationship with God before He would give us our miracle!

The first cycle I had in November 2005, after having the laparoscopy and the HSG, while taking the metformin and Clomid and following some of the more natural tracking methods as discussed in "Taking Charge of Your Fertility," was "the one." On December 23, 2005, I stood staring at a faint second line, my heart pounding, trying hard to contain my excitement. Could it be? Was this for real? For a year and a half, I had stood at that same bathroom sink staring down at just one line. One line that dashed my dreams month after month. A line that to me symbolized failure.

I wasn't supposed to start my period until that day and had actually already taken two tests the following two days and hadn't taken the trash out yet. I pulled the prior two tests out of the trash and was shocked to see a very faint second line on them, so faint that I had missed them the two days prior. I knew then...this really was for real! I remember clearly that Matt was on the couch watching TV when I nonchalantly came walking into the living room with the stick in my hand to announce the news. He wasn't so convinced over the faint second line, so I hightailed it to Walgreens to get one of those tests that are indisputable, the ones that say either "Pregnant" or "Not Pregnant." It said "Pregnant" and although I was thrilled, I was still reserved about it because I knew this wasn't necessarily a "happy ever after" moment, that we could lose the baby. For the first 15 weeks of my pregnancy, I continued taking my basal body temperature because I knew that if I were going to miscarry, my temperature would start dropping back down. After 15 weeks, I quit taking it since we were out of the first trimester and on August 24, 2006, we welcomed Miss Juliette Geniece to the world. Funny thing about God's timing, three months into my pregnancy my company was bought out by a bigger one that offered cheaper insurance premiums, awesome insurance that cut my costs of having her in half, and 100% paid maternity leave (which I wouldn't have had before). God knew the best time all along, of course!

Since her arrival, life has taken some twists and turns that I didn't really foresee. I had always hoped to be done having my children by the time I was 30. This past December, I hit the Big 3-0 and we haven't had any more children. In 2009, before Juliette's 3rd birthday, we downsized and moved to a new town in order for my husband to go back to school for his doctorate. Juliette is always asking about having a baby, and I know she would make an excellent big sister. I often find myself wishing we could have another one right now and feel the same longing that I felt when we were trying to conceive Juliette, but without the desperation (since the circumstances are different). Because of my age and because of the problems we encountered before, we plan to start trying for number two at the beginning of next year in the hopes that God will bless us with another baby before Matt graduates and we make another transition to a new town. Because it has been over five years since our infertility journey, I've found the same feelings and attitudes toward a new pregnancy have begin to surface: denial over a problem, wanting to control when we get pregnant, thinking it will be a quick fix if we do encounter the same problem. Writing our story out this weekend, though, has helped me to relive some of those emotions and feelings (even though I didn't really want to) and I hope the lessons I learned the first time around in regards to control and God's timing stay at the forefront of my mind.

More than likely, our journey with infertility isn't over, but I'm okay with that. God is still writing our story and if I've learned anything it's that His endings are so much better than mine!

Out of all the posts I have written, I never ask you guys for anything...not even comments! :) But, I consider this post one of the most important ones I've ever written and ask that you share the link to it with your friends or family members that are going through the heartbreaking journey of infertility. (And make sure you comment--yes, I went and asked for comments!--because I'm giving away a copy of the book "Dear God, Why Can't I Have a Baby!" See the bottom of this post for the details.)

It was the fall of 2006 and I had just returned from maternity leave and was working with author Janet Thompson on the publicity for her book "Dear God, They Say It's Cancer." (Which is a great book for those with the unfortunate diagnosis of breast cancer.) As I got to know Janet better and as things settled down publicity-wise, she shared with me her idea for her next book about infertility. She was having trouble coming up with a title that started with "Dear God" (which she wanted so that it would match her other book) and I threw out "Dear God, Why Can't I Have a Baby?" because I was fresh from the experience of asking God that question pretty much daily for a year and a half. She loved it! I was passionate about this topic and it became my personal mission at work to make sure we published it.

Fast forward to the summer of 2007 and Janet and I sat down for breakfast in Atlanta while we were there to attend the International Christian Retail Show. Janet wanted me to share our infertility story so she could include it in the book, along with many other couples' stories. So, over a quick breakfast (because nothing can ever be done at a leisurely pace at a trade show!), I shared our story and gave Janet permission to use whatever parts of it she wanted to.

At work, I was still petitioning to the Book Review Committee on her behalf because I knew this book was the book I searched for during my journey and never found. I knew this book would have been a huge comfort to me and that it would be a huge comfort and help to others too. I knew the statistics and kept sharing them: 1 out of every 10 couples in U.S. are infertile (meaning they've tried unsuccessfully for a year to get pregnant), which basically means more than 6 million people encounter problems conceiving and bearing a child. (Facts are from the American Fertility Association.) Six million people! Yet the Book Review Committee at Howard Books was made up mostly of men, and their wives hadn't struggled with infertility, so they ultimately passed on publishing this book because they didn't think there was a wide-enough audience. It made me mad because out of every book I've ever worked on, this one book that I never got to work on is the one that I was and still am the most passionate about. Janet didn't give up, though, and kept tirelessly submitting proposals to other publishers and keeping me updated on her progress as we worked on another book of hers.

In 2007, I was driving to work and heard Drew Cline (who at the time was the lead singer for NewSong) and his wife, Lori, (all you Springhill people who might not be able to place them, this is Philip Carroll's daughter and son-in-law) on the local Christian radio station in West Monroe talking about their infertility journey (among other things). I told Janet about the interview and tracked down Drew's email and was able to connect the two, which led to Drew writing the foreword for the book. At this point, Howard had passed, yet I still felt so strongly about the need for this book to get into the hands of hurting women (and men), that I kept rooting for Janet and it.

As you all know by reading past posts, major changes happened at Howard Books in 2009 and I left the Christian publishing industry. I never stopped thinking about that book, though, and wondering if Janet ever found a publisher. This past fall, Janet tracked me down on Facebook and shared the wonderful news that she had found a publisher (which coincidentally Howard's ex-VP of Sales and ex-Sales Manager now work for) and the book that had been so many years in the making would release in April 2011.